Well, well, well...
After 25 years of dreaming, fantasizing, and hoping, I finally got to drag my road-weary behind to Arizona. Anyone that has known me for more than 5 minutes is aware of my love affair with the desert Southwest. My journey was a labor of love and I always knew it would happen, I just didn't know when.
I lived here as a young adult. I was broke the entire time I was here, too. Even so, I connected with this location over any others I'd ever been to. Having grown up in an Air Force family and moving at least once per year, then serving my own Air Force career, I didn't know about what it felt like to: 1. Live where I actually wanted to live and 2. Live anywhere for longer than 4 years without a move.
In addition to the military moves, I never seemed to land a civilian job that didn't require excessive travel and relocation. Why am I telling you this? Simple. I'm really tired. Tired not so much physically, but tired of the moving process. Tired of some company having power over me and forcing me to live where they want me to live...even if it's an armpit like Maryland. I apologize for any Marylanders that happen to stumble upon this rant, for the record, your State is lovely...really. If nothing else, it wins the award for the most original boundary lines...have you ever seen a map of Maryland??? Yikes. Seems like when they were drawing up the State, pot was already legal there...I'm just sayin'. But I digress...
As I made the final leg of our road trip today through the desolate beauty that is New Mexico, I marveled at the mountains and spaciousness of the land. It was incredible. Brown and lovely. Approaching the Arizona State line, I felt my pulse quicken a bit. I have been looking forward to this for so long, it seemed quite surreal. As the mountains drew closer on the horizon, I noticed my right foot press a bit harder on the accelerator. I made it.
I was asked by my brother a very blunt and poignant question as I visited enroute to Arizona. He asked, "So how is it going to be for you when you figure out this is your last move?" I've given thought to the concept, but hearing it from someone close drove it home for me. Truth is, I have no answer to how I'll respond to a "final" place...a routine...other people's type of normal life. I just don't know...never did it before so I really don't know what to expect.
I'd like to think that the house we picked out is awesome enough to capture my attention and create contentment when I don't have to drive to an airport 2-4 times per month. I'd also like to think that I'll have time to spend on some things that have been neglected over the many years of globetrotting, like writing. I still have "that novel" in me that's screaming more loudly to get out. By moving here, I have all the opportunity to leverage all the healthful aspects of living here...the opportunities are limitless. I have been invited to join the local Air Force Chief's Group and have a couple Chief buddies living in the area, so our non-existent social life in Maryland will likely be transformed. All-in-all, I can't find a down-side for living here. I'm sure there are some (but it's a dry heat!), but allow me to live in my own denial for just awhile longer...thank you.
The point of this rambling is that sometimes in life you have to decide what you really want and what you really think will bring you lasting happiness. Whether it's a new location, a new relationship, a new whatever...in my humble opinion, you owe it to yourself to chase it until you catch it. In my case, I found reasons (usually financial) for not moving here. I also justified my perpetual movement on, "a guy's gotta eat...", but what crap that was. Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful for the opportunities I've been given and in retrospect, wouldn't change any of it...even moving to the Middle East! Glad I went, won't go back.
Risk-taking isn't for everyone, I should know. I always felt like I had to be the even-keel and steady one. Taking risks was for "those guys." I finally took a deep breath and jumped into the risk--head first and I ain't looking back. It took so long to get here, I'm only optimistic about the future. By doing what I did, I really hung it all out there...career, finances, relationships, you name it, I bet it all for this.
What ultimately gave me the courage was faith. Without getting too deep, it was the deciding factor and what I leaned on so heavily for the 2 years planning I put into this. Faith that it would work out. Faith that those close to me would understand and accept my madness and faith that I could personally handle the transition without a melt-down.
Of course, I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I like my chances that it will all work out in my favor!
So, if you have your "final move"(whether a physical move or something you've wanted for so long but never had the nerve to pursue), chewing on your brain, why not grab some faith, take a risk and get going!
No comments:
Post a Comment